Since checking in at a hospital in Dec 2012 and until roughly this same time last year, I lost about 120 pounds…but since then I have stayed at roughly the same weight. Make no mistake that I am very happy about that. It’s very possible that I would not be alive to write this.
However, to be healthier and happier and probably live even longer, I should probably lose another 70-100 more pounds. Very hard to do. I’m not getting into all the mechanics but please know I am under medical care and have changed so much and have researched very meticulously – and I have decided that it starts in my head. Whatever happens in there translates into retaining.
Since I left the hospital I have posted my daily weight on Facebook and simultaneously kept a spreadsheet. It obviously helped – feedback was good and major milestones were – in my eyes – to be celebrated with my friends. People reached out to me to find out how and bonds were formed and strengthened. But eventually I stopped the spreadsheet. I think my focus shifted towards what everyone else was thinking – this type of behavior I believe contributed to my weight gain to begin with.
Today for the first time since I left the hospital I did not post my weight. And I may never do it the same way again. I also picked back up on my spreadsheet again and will reconstructed the missing time based on my FB history when I go back online. I will still share my weight upon request but I found that I need to see what happens if I focus on me first. That’s the experiment and I commit to the next year just like I committed to this past year of posting even if I wasn’t losing.
So I move from merely being alive to being happy…